Growing Up Slowly

I wouldn't call myself a baby Christian anymore. I've seen enough, heard enough and read enough to be well-versed in the Christian life.

That's what I want to think. It's what I want to believe.

Then, as I was driving home from work, I realized that I actually haven't lived an independent Christian life. Throughout my growing years I was always living with another Christian who was spiritually older then me. They were the ones who would remind me that Sunday was coming up and that I should go to church, or that it would be ideal to attend to Wednesday night prayer service.

When I was actually alone, with no other Christians to remind me of how Christian's ought to live, I would go back to my old ways and forget what day it was. I would forget to read my Bible and pray, I would forget about the Christian artists that I would listen to all the time around my Christians brothers and sisters. I would ALMOST act like I wasn't saved.

When I first realized how I had been living for the last 4 years since I've been out of college, I actually wondered if I was legitimately saved, but I remember so clearly the day I prayed and asked for salvation. Just as clearly, I remember a few times where I prayed the salvation prayer again, just in case I wasn't authentic the first time. I'm definitely saved. I think what I have been living is just a lack of personal accountability to my own self. It's a lack of spiritual maturity.

Punctuality is extremely important to me, especially when going to work or arriving at a meeting. That is a grown up feeling and a mature sense of responsibility. Strange then that I have always felt almost zero pressure to be at Sunday School on time, or to even attend at all. It's just a lack of maturity because, spiritually speaking, I've never seen the big deal about being late.

It only hit me because I just got done visiting my best friend Tim Cunningham. He has always been an old soul, but his spirituality is also far ahead of his physical age. Seeing the leadership and focus that he brought to his family was inspiring, especially since the full credit could be pointed to God before Tim even said anything. He has a career that would drive any woman insane, especially considering the time he puts into it, but his relationship with God seems to trump any negative aspects it could have on his relationship with his wife, Julie (also a dear friend to me).

I won't get into too much detail about Tim's life. If you want to know more you can visit his website at www.cunninghamfineart.com. But I say it all to say that everything that I lack in my life compared to Tim is entirely because Tim has a closer relationship with God than me. And the only reason Tim has a closer relationship with God than me is because, up until this point in my life, I never embraced my Christian walk as my own personal responsibility.

I hope I can turn this responsibility into a real relationship with God that is independent, self evident and real. I also hope God will unite my family and draw them closer to Him through my relationship with Him.

Here we go.